The Incredible Shrinking Woman

So what do you think the topic of this blog is??  I am starting to journal my food again, and what an eye opening experience it is.  I have been eating WAY too much food, even if it was good food, it was too much food.  No wonder why I have been yo yoing this much.  So I feel liberated and free, knowing that I am in control now.  I am also going to watch what I eat out.  Last night we had japanese, and instead of the hibachi I had sushi, which couldn’t be better for me.  So I felt good about that decision.  And I stopped eating after 8:00, the time when I am most vulerable to overeating!!!!  Yeah me!!!  Remember, progress not perfection.  If we tell ourself that we have to be perfect, well we are just setting ourselves up for failure.  We can’t have these unrealistic expectations for ourself.  If we fail, we kinda already knew we would, but then we start the vicious eating cycle.  So I re-evaluated what I was doing, made a choice, and I am turning the other way.   Thanks Jo for always telling me the truth!

So my kids are feeling better, the strep throat is about gone.   The kids should be in school tomorrow, so i can get some time away from them.  Aaaaahhhhhhh, that sounds good.  I was looking forward to going to my class tonight, but it was cancelled.  There are blizzard like conditions here.  The city is in shut down just about.  This winter is brutal!

Well peeps, I gotta get my dinner on the table (turkey sloppy joes and oven fries).  Hopefully tomorrow the weather will be ok and I can hit the Y early!!!  I haven’t exercised this week because of the kids, but I am determined to get in my 3x this week!

That scale can be evil, it can change my mood for the day.  I haven’t stepped on it this week, and I won’t until Sunday.  My weight normally fluctuates day to day, and weighing day to day isn’t a real indicator of how I am doing.  One of my buddies commented on how even if we aren’t losing, we are still doing great long term health benefits for our bodies by exercising.  So my scale is getting put in time out.  I am tired of it ruling my emotions.  Can I get a Hell Ya??!! 

So anyway, its a sick ward here at the compound (our house).  Both kids have strep throat, and then I found out my son all of a sudden is allergic to amoxicillin (totally misspelled I’m sure!).  He broke out in hives right after he took it, so finally I got some new meds in him and some benedryl.  We all managed to take a nap this afternoon, I needed one after my daughter got up at 4:30.  I’m not THAT much of a morning person!!!

So my routine was off to a bad start this week.  I usually exercise MWF so M is gone.  So maybe if the kiddies sleep good tonight and are on the mend, I will get my first exercise session in tomorrow morning.  If not then Wed.  Again, progress not perfection!!  Not going to the gym is NOT a reason to eat cookies all!!!!  Yes and I did NOT eat cookies!!

So thanks all for the comments on my last blog.  I have taken action and bought a little notebook to log my calories and my food intake.  I eat good for my meals, but snacks have been a issue, so now that I know in my head how much I have eaten calorie wise its harder for me to use more calories on a snack.  Kinda the same concept as carrying cash around instead of using a debit card.  You always know how much you have left and don’t go over your limit!!!  Hey I just thought of that little one, it will help me for sure!

So everyone, I’m not discouraged, I’m dissapointed for sure, but the scale will move, and I can’t be controlled by it.  Its not coming out until Sunday.  You are in time out buddy!

Is that a bad word to say on here??  Well I am saying it!!!  Ever since I broke the 200 mark, I have been stuck.  Stuck.  STUCK!!!  I am not discouraged, but I am disappointed.  I guess I had high expectations and when I am not reaching them I get frustrated.  What gives??  I know what is going on.  My body is needing a lot LESS calories and more exercise.  I can do the more exercise, but when I watch my food, I mean really WATCH my food, it will move a little, then I splurge a little, then poof its back on.  It seems like for me to get to my goal I would have to have a perfect eating plan.  Does anyone have any suggestions??  I am wondering if I would benefit from some sort of support group or weight loss group, just to give me some more accountability and structure.  But when I do count points or whatever, I feel like I obsess too much about how much I can eat instead of focusing on eating when I am hungry.  I am just frustrated.  UGH!!!

So anyone out there who has overcome a plateau, please let me know what helped you.  I’ve kicked up my exercise from 2-3x a week of 25 mins to 3-4 times a week of 50-1 hour.  I’ve been dilligent with that, I guess the food is my downfall.  How can I eat less???  Is that possible??  UGH!!!!!!  Can I scream now????

So my goal is to get into the 170’s by April since I am seeing my mom and my aunt and my cousing whoms I haven’t seen in years (cousin) So I wanna knock their socks off.  But I’m sure my cousin will be knocked off her socks since the last time she saw me I was 300 lbs.  I gotta keep going and find another wagon, but what wagon do I choose?

Sorry for the mindless ramblings today.  I appreciate any comments!

Reading Jennifer’s blog today helped me remember that everything changes.  I don’t have just 1 specific thing that I do all the time to help me lose or maintain weight.  And sometimes something works for a while, then its a dud again.  I’m just glad that if something turns out to not work, that I still persevere and find something else again.  I remember one of my buddies talking about that instead of falling off the wagon, that we just had to find ANOTHER wagon.  Interesting concept, huh??

I’ve been happy at my current weight for the past year, but now I want to get to my goal weight.  I want to get to the healthy weight that I should be.  And yes, my loss has been incredible, but I can’t settle for staying here after all the hard work I have done for years and years!!

Also I figured out how to add pages to my blog (see the top of this?).  I put a short blurb about how I got here and what I did, I get occasional emails about this, so I thought I would post it on here for all to see.  Take from it what you like, but the beautiful thing is that its mine, and you can make your own story.  There’s no magic cure, its hard work and gosh thats not fun some of the time!!!  But I’m sure everyone out there has it in them to be able to write their own story too.  (Isn’t that a WW slogan now?  Be an after?).  We all have the power in us to do it, that is the secret if you want to know.  

I’ve managed to get to the gym 2x this week, I still want to get there 1x more, but its awefully cold out side today.  The high today is like 0 or something like that, so we might lay low and stay inside.  So if I don’t make it there today, thats alright, maybe again tomorrow morning!  But the kids and I are skipping church, I don’t want to take them out in this weather, even though I am supposed to work in the perschoolers room, oh well I’m sure not a lot of people will be there anyway. 

Stay warm all!

I was reading a magazine while I was working out the other day, and Sandra Bullock said that we should do things that scare us.  I took it as it can be the obvious, like rock climbing our jumping out of a plane.  Or it can be other things.  Like me, going back to school.  I am scared!!  But I’m not going to give up, I’m on a mission, but it is scary.  I’m also pushing myself physically like I never had before.  I used to stop working out when I was tired, but now I go 2x as long and it feels so good.  I used to be the kind of person that instantly quit something when I was scared or uncomfortable.  Now I don’t want to do the easy route, and I don’t want to spend my life with regrets because I didn’t do what I wanted to do because I was scared.  Even if we are scared, guess what, we should do it with fear!!

I’m so glad I’m now not living my life simply to “get by”.  I want to be the best I can, I want to constantly be pushing myself forward and growing.

Well back to my life here in Illinois.  Its a huge cold front here.  Its going to be a high of 1 tomorrow!!!  OMG!!!  So we are going to be doing some family activities at home.  We might go to the Y tonight and swim as a family.  Its become our “thing”, going to swim and play at the Y on Fridays.  Its so much fun!  THat was the best present we gave our family this christmas, a membership to the Y!

Well I’m hoping the government gives us some refunds (have you heard of that to help the economy?).  If we get money, we are using it to pay off dr bills, we aren’t spending it foolishly.  Are we crazy or what??  LOL

Have a great day all!

Ok people, I have been working my butt off the last few weeks and It is paying off.  I have lost almost all the weight from the holidays (YEHAW!!) and I am ready for the next phase………… the 170’s.  I feel like I did this email 1 year ago ( did!) and I never made it.  But now I’m getting serious and buckling down.  I have more connections which is helping me, more accountability, and a new sense of drive and enthusiasm.  I am not content like I was last year at this weight, I want more and I will do it.  So I don’t know what happened, but I got the BUG!!!!!! 

I went to my classes yesterday, Tuesday is going to be a LONG day now, but that’s ok.  It feels so great to be dowing stuff for ME, not anyone else.  I LOVE it.  I used to never take care of myself.  Now I am a woman first, NOT mom or a wife, but a woman.  We can’t let everyone else come first, then we just dissappear, all of our dreams and hopes, desires and needs.  We can let them come last.  I’m tired of that!!! 

Gosh I’m on a soapbox here, but I am pumped.  Maybe this can rub off on some people!!!

I only had time for a quick check in, I have to get the kids from school and my kitty wants some petting before I leave so I will check in soon!

Ok, I got a new outlook for this year.  I am determined to be at my goal in 2008.  Last year I kinda played around, lost and gained up and down the same 5-10 lbs.  Which is fine, I never once wasn’t able to wear my clothes.  But now I want to get to my goal, and I am determined to do it.  I am going to lose 40 lbs this year, and that would be the best ever to be in the 150’s or less.  Wow, its just weird to have a goal now that is something I KNOW I can attain.  I started so many years saying I was going to lose weight, but never had a plan or any sort of confidence.  Now that I have been comfortable in the 180’s, I am ready to get down lower.  So everyone, 2008 is the year (Right Dawn??!!)

At church today, we talked about goals and reaching them and living out your dream.  I was actually doing what the pastor was talking about, I was living my dream.  I never EVER thought I would be under 200 lbs, and I really have given up so many times.  But I just kept it going, did the work (there’s lots of it) and got my butt off the couch and worked out.  And now going back to school is another goal that I have.  I have so many dreams of helping people in the community, but i need a degree to do that, so now I have that to look forward to also.  I feel like I am turning my life around totally, so its so exciting to be LIVING it instead of wishing it was me.

Buddies, if you are sitting around wondering if it can be done, well yes it can.  Believe in yourself, have faith in yourself, and give yourself a chance because it can be done!!!!

Well, I have been working my buns off this week, I’ve worked out almost every day.  I’ve been going to the Y, its awesome, and I’ve been going about 40 minutes on the elliptical.  I picked up the pace a bit from the times I went before, I now burn a lot more calories and I feel so great afterwards!!!  During the holidays, man those bad foods made me feel BAD!!!  I did give myself the ok to eat bad, and I’m ok with that decision.  But I do notice a huge change in how I feel during the day.  I’m not tired, even when I get some bad sleep.  So wow what a difference.  So I gained 10 lbs during the holidays, ouch!!  but I’ve lsot 5 already, the last 5 are coming off soon, then I’ll be in the 170’s. 

Classes start Tuesday, I am excited and nervous, but ready to start up again.  I am meeting with a guidance counselor at the college that I want to transfer to on Monday, so I will have a better plan of action.  I will keep you posted.

Well I have dinner to make, but I will check back often.  Thanks Jo for always checking up on me!! You rock too!

Things were pretty scary here yesterday.  A tornado touched down just a few minutes up the road from us, I was on my way to pick up my kids from school when it happened.  It was horrible outside, and the weather was so weird.  It was in the 60’s yesterday.  In January in Illinois.  Northern Illinois.  How strange is that??  So when I was driving I wasn’t sure if I should keep going or pull over or what, I just floored it and kept going.  The school was in lock down, but I was able to be let inside.  All the kids were on the floor, facing the wall and we had to wait until we got an all clear to leave.  Once we got that, which was only about 20 minutes, we drove home and it started pouring rain again, we all made it home safe (dh was at the school also to check on us).  We then found out that it touched down 1 town north of us, and the apple orchard that everyone goes to (lots of memories) was hit.  We are so grateful though that it hit in a remote area, because where it hit was in the middle of a lot of corn fields, instead of a neighborhood.  I’m so glad we are safe.

So I think the weather is supposed to get back to normal January weather soon, this is so strange.  All the snow is gone, our snowman is toast in our front yard.  We still haven’t gone sledding yet this year!!!!  So we are going when more snow comes (I’m sure it will!).

My eating is back on track now, I am losing the weight I gained during my 3 month eat-a-thon from Halloween through new years.  We joined the Y and its been a great time for all of us.  Swimming and exercising, its good to have that back in my life.

I am taking 2 classes this semester, my goal is to transfer to an accellerated program to get my bachelors by fall of 2009.  I will have to take summer classes also, but I have a goal and I am very excited (scared too), but I never used to think school was something I could do.  Now that I’ve accomplished my weight (well close to), I have so much more confidence and I WANT to do it.  I WANT to challenge myself (WHAT??).  Its amazing how many things this journey has changed.  I am not the same Tina I used to be!

I will blog more often people!  Love you all!

Tina

Ok I haven’t been on here in a heck of a long time, I am sorry everyone.  I just didn’t make this a priority, been busy with everything else.  But I miss all of you, so sorry please forgive me!!!  I gained some lbs during the holiday, but I told myself that I would allow myself to do that, so I ate really horrible.  But now I’m back on track, I’m not discouraged like I normally would be, just determined to lose some weight before I visit family in April.

I got an A in my first class back at college, I guess I still have it!!  I am going to take 2 classes this spring semester, so I am very excited about getting a degree.  I love staying at home with my kids, but when they are back in school I don’t want to be a housewife all day long.  I would go crazy.  So I am on a plan and I have a goal in mind.

We are in the process of decluttering our house.  I found a great site called www.freecycle.org   check it out and see if there is a chapter in your area.  I got rid of a few things to people who needed them, its really cool.

Well I wanted to stop in and say hi, hello and happy new year.  Hopefully 2008 I can get to my goal weight!!!